How to Enjoy Flying

I thought I'd take a quick break from packing my suitcase to pass on some very simple, clear information to those of you who suffer from a fear of flying.

When I work with my clients on this fear, I always ask them when the fear begins. Usually, it begins when they plan the trip. Literally, it can be when they're online, shopping for flights, choosing the dates, etc. The fear then intensifies as each days passes and the day of the flight gets closer.



My approach to curing fears and phobias comes from a unique concept - teaching people how to think like those of us who actually enjoy flying. We think about the trip in a way that produces absolutely no anxiety or uncomfortable feelings, and that's because of what we think and how we think about it.

So here's how I do it, as I've come to discover through a bit of introspection:

• When I buy the tickets, I'm thinking about who I'm going to see. The confirmation I receive in the email is then sent off to the family members or friends who I'll be visiting, so they'll know when I'm arriving at the airport. The thought of seeing these people puts a smile on my face. [otherwise, I wouldn't be buying the ticket!]
• When I think about the trip, my thoughts are focused on what I'll be doing while I'm there. The airport experience and flight barely enter into my mind.
• When I pack for the trip (like tonight), I'm again thinking only about what I'll be doing while I'm there. This allows me to choose the right clothes for the trip! One other thought that crosses my mind is to travel light... because although I'm not afraid of flying, I have no love for waiting at the baggage claim.
• On the day of the trip, it's all about giving myself enough time to arrive at the airport with plenty of time to spare. This prevents any unnecessary stress due to worrying about missing the flight or getting bumped (especially this time of year).
• When I arrive at the airport, I think of it as though my vacation has already begun. Now, everyone else has to do all the work. I get to turn on the ipod, listen to my favorite music, read a book, and just turn off my brain. Occasionally, I'll glance at the time and keep an eye on the gate so I'll know when it's time to board. During this time, there is absolutely no thought about being on the plane, the actual flight experience or the possibility of a crash or terrorist attack (this is a big one since 9/11). I've trained myself so these thoughts just don't enter into my mind.
• When it's time to board, I'm usually still absorbed in music and a book. My attention is on what I'm reading... that's it. This helps with blocking out the screaming kids and impatient or sttressed-out travelers, too. I meander my way through the aisle to my seat, toss my bags in the overhead and plop down in the seat. At this point, although I continue to read, I keep the headphones off in case someone sits next to me or wants my attention. This is all as dull as can be... just the way I like it.
• When the plane begins to taxi, I might close my eyes and do some self-hypnosis... just relax my whole body as deeply as possible. During takeoff, I usually do have a passing awareness of the small possibility that there could be an accident. I don't think about this visually... it's just an awareness that allows me to mentally prepare. I might think about how great life has been... the good times I've had... and I resolve myself that if today's my day, then I've had a pretty good ride.

I actually enjoy this last part - an emotional acceptance of my lack of control of the situation. Once I've made the choice and the flight is in progress, there's no point in wondering what's going to happen or having regrets - it's out of my hands. If I were to die tomorrow, I would have no regrets. Rather than causing anxiety, this thought process actually calms me even more.



Acceptance of death as a natural part of the life cycle is very empowering.

Once the flight reaches cruising altitude, I either drift off to sleep, dig into the book, or just listen to music and allow my thoughts to wander. It's a time when I have no responsibilities, so I can relax and reflect.

Taking a trip is a good time to think about your life, where you're going and where you've been. Many times I've returned from a trip and made significant changes based on those reflections and new ideas that have come to me while thinking or reading.

The point of the story here is that there are far more interesting things to think about and do when taking a trip than focusing on the terrifying thoughts in which bad things happen.

This is something that anyone can learn to do... and it is my pleasure to teach people how to do it in my office, all while relaxing in a comfortable trance.

Happy Holidays.